The Cockroach Whisperer...

Just a few minutes ago, I was sitting on Denny's recliner wondering what to blog about for the night.  After rejecting the first few ideas (due to copyright infringements), I was getting desperate.  Until something extraordinary happened.

Stephen walked into the room and announced, with no inflection of voice, "There's a dinosaur on the ceiling."  Actually, there was a cockroach.  I would have far preferred the dinosaur.  

By this time, Stephen had left the room and returned with his personal "Bug Stop" spray bottle.  Stopping just below the wretched creature, he paused just long enough for Gregor to dislodge himself from the ceiling and *FLY* in a direct line toward my own speechless face.  Fortunately, his flying powers were not developed enough to make it all the way to my face, so he crash-landed just at my feet and scurried under my chair.

I was up faster than a cuckoo at the strike of twelve, curled up on the sofa just opposite.  Stephen, though momentarily frozen, was back in action and appeared completely unconcerned.  Ben lifted up the chair.  Denny looked on in horror.  Stephen stood armed and ready with his spray-bottle.  Gregor decided this was a good time to disappear.

Of course, none of us were all that thrilled about Gregor's latest decision, so Ben banged the chair down and set him running toward the space just below the carpet.  A clear boot-to-the-floor was in order, but no - that would be too easy.  Stephen insisted on the Bug Stop. 

Spray.  Dash.  Spray.  Shuffle.  Spray. Dart.  Spray.  Spray.  Disappear.

Gregor disappeared once more below another couch.  FAIL.

But Stephen again showed no signs of discouragement.  "He's going for the door."  And sure enough, just as we all gave the boy the evil eye, Gregor appeared again on the backside of Denny's sofa.  The spray war continued - with Gregor consistently leading the way *straight* to the door.

Stephen assured us the creature would leave in an honorable manner.  To the surprise of all the other occupants of the house, Gregor waltzed out the front door as soon as it was opened, leaving nothing but his memory behind.

I'm sure this has some sort of application to everyday life, but I will leave you to figure that one out - the story itself is enough for me.

Update from Stephen and his magical spray-bottle:

"I have secured the perimeter."