Zebra Cakes and the Beginning of Something New...

Wednesday night was fast approaching, and with it the teaching of my next lesson in the Lord's Prayer series.  This time: "Lead us not into temptation."

I had planned on spending the afternoon preparing, and so I made my way home early from work.  I whistled merrily as I got out of my car and strolled towards the house, little knowing how much temptation lurked inside the front door.

First, it was the cutting board from Tuesday's watermelon - sitting in the sink, still tarnished with white seeds and a chuck of rind that never made it to the rubbish bin.  Dang.  I can't prepare for a lesson on leading us not into temptation and just pass by a sink full of my own dirty dishes.  So I washed it.

Next, it was the brownies.  I hadn't eaten any snacks yet, so I ate the first one without a second thought.  No problem.  The next one was a little less justified, but tasty anyways, and if it turned out that I later regretted it, I could just use that as an example for giving into temptation.

My taste buds and stomach fully satisfied, I made it past the kitchen and into the dining room.  

Zebra Cakes.  

They were sitting there on the counter all alone, like some poor orphan who'd been neglected for the greater part of his natural life.  But no.  That would just be shameful - stuffing my face with pure tasty goodness while preparing my heart to talk to the children about God's power to provide a way out in those times of temptation.  "No temptation has befallen you other than that which is common to man."  Zebra Cakes are certainly common to man. So I passed them by.

I sat on the couch to read from the Good Book and quickly found myself tilting towards the horizontal state.  Before long I was on my back, eyes half closed, with Benji's dino pillow secured comfortably behind my neck.  Lead us not..... tem...ta.......t..........

I jumped to my feet.  Just another epic failure of a role-model I was, sleeping on the job.  So I walked around to get the blood flowin' and the mind churnin'.  Things were on the up and up for a while, until...

Zebra Cakes.

This time, I gave right in.  Without a thought to the lesson I was teaching or the book I was reading, I grabbed the box with greedy fingers and turned it upside down.  Shake.  I feared the worst.  Shake.  I dropped my jaw.  Shake.  No Zebra Cakes.  Not even one.

The box was empty all along.

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Tomorrow I head off to Chicago with Denny on an evangelistic road trip.  It promises to be a most exciting, challenging, and messily glorious adventure.  If anyone's interested in keeping up, we'll be blogging along the way at socraticcup.blogspot.com.  

25 Rolls of Toilet Paper

My good friend Miguel told me a story yesterseve that captures the very essence of messy glory.  It simply must be shared.

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It started like it always does - some overzealous kid wanting to do some quasi-illegal activity to get the urge out of his system.  At first Miguel was not convinced, but the thought of 40 yards of christmas lights wrapped around Chad's car was enough to secure his involvement.  Within a few hours, the toilet paper was all purchased, the plan was made, and a group of five or six students (plus Michael, the "responsible college intern") were walking down a dark street armed and ready to roll their youth minister's house.

It was not thirty seconds after they stepped foot in the yard that Chad's garage door made a noise like an old electric can opener and began to rise.  The dispersion was as smooth as any could have been rehearsed - the girls took off running down the street, the guys found suitable bushes nearby - only Michael was left in the yard, and the other side of the car seemed a perfect hiding place.

I say "seemed" because a few moments later it became clear that this was not to be the case.  If I'm caught hiding, thought Miguel, I'll give them an awful fright.  So to assure his not being caught, he found his way *under* the car...and waited.

EPIC FAIL.

As the other car made its way out of the garage and up the driveway, the headlights landed directly on our dear friend.  The car stopped.

...

"Yeah, there is a grocery bag in our front yard."  Thank goodness, said the mutterings of Miguel's mind, Amanda called Chad to tell him a mysterious bag was left in the yard - NOT that a mysterious man was hiding under the car.  The one side of the phone conversation he could hear continued.

"Dude, there's 25 rolls of toilet paper in here - unwrapped!. .... Well, I guess that means you don't need to go to the store any more."  Amanda was on her way to Wal-Mart to pick up...need I say it?  Toilet Paper.

"I'd think we were getting rolled, but why would they leave the bag here?  Nobody would be that dumb."  Michael silently nodded under the car, wondering the same.

The next few minutes were something of a blur.  Amanda pulled the car back in the driveway, Chad discovered more mixed messages - a wad of christmas lights, a single strip of paper on a bush - and Michael decided it was time to reveal himself.  All three of them stood in the front yard laughing at themselves and each other until Chad got a chance to ask Michael if anyone else was involved.

"No.  Just me," admitted Michael, just in time for the two other guys to appear from their respective trees and bushes.  More laughter.  

"So this is everyone, then?"  "Yep.  Everyone."  And the three girls walked into the driveway.