25 Rolls of Toilet Paper

My good friend Miguel told me a story yesterseve that captures the very essence of messy glory.  It simply must be shared.

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It started like it always does - some overzealous kid wanting to do some quasi-illegal activity to get the urge out of his system.  At first Miguel was not convinced, but the thought of 40 yards of christmas lights wrapped around Chad's car was enough to secure his involvement.  Within a few hours, the toilet paper was all purchased, the plan was made, and a group of five or six students (plus Michael, the "responsible college intern") were walking down a dark street armed and ready to roll their youth minister's house.

It was not thirty seconds after they stepped foot in the yard that Chad's garage door made a noise like an old electric can opener and began to rise.  The dispersion was as smooth as any could have been rehearsed - the girls took off running down the street, the guys found suitable bushes nearby - only Michael was left in the yard, and the other side of the car seemed a perfect hiding place.

I say "seemed" because a few moments later it became clear that this was not to be the case.  If I'm caught hiding, thought Miguel, I'll give them an awful fright.  So to assure his not being caught, he found his way *under* the car...and waited.

EPIC FAIL.

As the other car made its way out of the garage and up the driveway, the headlights landed directly on our dear friend.  The car stopped.

...

"Yeah, there is a grocery bag in our front yard."  Thank goodness, said the mutterings of Miguel's mind, Amanda called Chad to tell him a mysterious bag was left in the yard - NOT that a mysterious man was hiding under the car.  The one side of the phone conversation he could hear continued.

"Dude, there's 25 rolls of toilet paper in here - unwrapped!. .... Well, I guess that means you don't need to go to the store any more."  Amanda was on her way to Wal-Mart to pick up...need I say it?  Toilet Paper.

"I'd think we were getting rolled, but why would they leave the bag here?  Nobody would be that dumb."  Michael silently nodded under the car, wondering the same.

The next few minutes were something of a blur.  Amanda pulled the car back in the driveway, Chad discovered more mixed messages - a wad of christmas lights, a single strip of paper on a bush - and Michael decided it was time to reveal himself.  All three of them stood in the front yard laughing at themselves and each other until Chad got a chance to ask Michael if anyone else was involved.

"No.  Just me," admitted Michael, just in time for the two other guys to appear from their respective trees and bushes.  More laughter.  

"So this is everyone, then?"  "Yep.  Everyone."  And the three girls walked into the driveway.