It's a Flounder!

Some randomness from my rompings through Italy last week...

a.  We started our journey on a RyanAir flight.  mmm.  what can you say about cheap airfare?  First of all, they charge you for everything they can think of: this includes those "free" peanuts and drinks all plane flights are expected to give you out of gratitude, checking in a bag, lottery tickets that support some obscure charity, and of course, using the bathroom on board.  Fortunately, they did not think to charge you for: getting off the plane, using the oxygen masks in case of an emergency, unlocking the overhead storage bins, or pulling down the tray-tables.  Just you wait, Henry Higgins, just you wait.

b.  Some Italians like it when you use their language.  Others mock you when you try.  Some smile.  Some glare.  Unfortunately, it was one of these latter kinds that I came across at dinner one of our first nights.  "I'll have the [attempted pronunciation of long italian name] -"  ::blank look::  "do you want meat sauce or tomato sauce?"  I thought about asking her for a bucket of whipped cream instead so I could pie her in the face upon our next meeting.

c.  Machiavelli continues to manipulate everyone around him to contrive against me.  We went to a church in Florence where Galileo, Michaelangelo, Dante, and some of Napoleon's ancestors were buried - but I paid my 5 euro to see the grave of a man who will always be dear to my heart: Machiavelli.  You see, good old Machi and I have the same personality type, according to Briggs and Myers: ENFP - which means we have high moral standards, but when we lose them, we become manipulative genii who can and will make people act the way we want.  Machiavelli, as far as I can tell, advocated doing just this.  Why this church wanted to bury him in their walls I will never know.  (Dr. Seuss, I would like to point out, shared this personality type as well, so I could really go either way at this point in my life).  Anyways, we got inside and I started looking around - wall 1 - no machiavelli.  wall 2 - galileo. wall 3 - bonapartes.  wall 4 - michaelangelo and dante - and then some construction work over a few other graves.  All my walls being scanned, I looked through the construction fabric at what looked to be an important grave.  yep.  Machiavelli betrayed us all again, hiding himself behind rows of metal bars and fabric.  What a fiend.

He followed me to Rome too - blocking off every Arch that could have been walked under with construction tape just to annoy the Christmas goose out of me.  And then in Sorrento, he closed off the ferries to Capri on the one day we could have made it out to the island!  I will have my vengeance.  I'll just have to wait until the day I lose all my standards.

d.  I still never explained the title of this post...but sleep beckons...more on the morrow.