Part I - In which we meet Dennis

When I first joined the ECCP team (my London internship), the director took me aside to tell me all the logistical stuff - don't give out your phone number, don't tell people where you live, don't, don't, don't...you know - the mindless stuff that anyone should know naturally.  But then he added a bit at the end.  "And watch out for Dennis.  He's a nice guy, don't get me wrong, but he's hostile to Christianity and I don't really know why he keeps coming back. He had theological training, but has had some really bad experiences with Christians and now hates it altogether.  He especially likes to find new people - like you - and challenge their faith by displaying his knowledge and making you feel like you don't have any idea what you believe or why you believe it.  I don't think you'll have to worry about questioning your faith or anything, but I’m telling you this so you can be ready for him."  

And so, on the first day of work, what should happen?  An elderly chap walked in the door - a little hunched, and with hair askew - looked at me, and said "who is this?"  "Hi! I'm Alan," I started, "good to meet you.  You want some tea or coffee?"  "A little feminine, don't you think?"  I just looked at him, still trying to figure out where the last comment came from.  "Hi Dennis," I heard someone else say.  Oh…Dennis.  "Where are you from?" he asked. I told him.  "Did you vote for Obama?"  I told him I didn't, not this time.  Clearly, this was the wrong thing to have said.  Before long, a big Scottish chap was in on the conversation as well, a-jabbin away Dennis while the latter tried to make me feel like a fool and a moron bundled together by a spool of yarn.  "Why are you a Christian?" he eventually asked.  I began to answer, when Nancy (a wonderful polish lady) came and stole me from the coffee bar to go distribute food.  Relieved to have some peace, I looked up to see that Dennis had followed.  "Do you know what transubstantiation is?"  Yes.  "Do you know what happened in 313?" Yes.  "What?"  Uh.  the Council of Nicea? "No. that was 325.  It was the Edict of Milan.  Don't you know the Edict of Milan?" 

He continued on like this for some time, making sure I realized I didn't know a tenth as much about the history of the Church as I ought - until eventually I was sent somewhere else where he didn’t follow.  So that night, I went home a little disappointed.  I hoped that my first encounter with him would be one different that ones he'd had with other people.  I wanted to give some answers that caught him off guard and made him think - wow, this guy really does know why he believes.  But no, it was just like his experience with everyone else.  I made sure I'd talk to him again sometime.